Controversial Matters!

I don't believe the nonsense about men were born to cheat because it's in their nature...because just as many women cheat. I actually believe that if you truly care for, notice I didn't say love although as far as I'm concerned that goes without saying...again if you truly care for your partner (married or not but I do mean in a relationship) because people that are playing the field as it was formerly known back in the day but currently comes under the heading of friends with benefits should have no expectations of exclusivity, you will not cheat on them because you respect them too much. Doesn't mean you won't see someone that you might like to be with because after all you're human but you won't act on it.

Now I believe that there are a small percentage of people that will always be faithful no matter what because it's in their nature. There's an even smaller percentage that will be tempted to cheat but won't give in to that temptation. The rest of the population will cheat and the majority of them will do it more than once. I feel that most of these people will just think of what will make them feel good with total disregard for the people they will hurt if they get found out. A large part of the time alcohol or drugs factor in the equation hence the expression get high, get stupid.

In summation: People cheat because they are either:

• weak (just can't fight the feeling)
  
• greedy (wants to have their cake and eat it too
  
• characterless (will basically sleep with anybody
  
• stupid (make bad choices (i.e., a married man who sacrifices his family for one night of sex with someone other than his wife)
  
• petty (I cheated because my partner cheated)
  
• immature (I cheated because I was feeling neglected)
  
• just don't care (don't care about the consequences)
  

Women, especially if you're married, treat your man like you're his outside woman and he will have no reason to stray. Partners should talk to each other if something is missing from your sex life after all sex is in the top 5 of the most important requirements for a relationship to work. Tell each other what you need to be happy in the bedroom. Above all else be honest with each other and if cheating means that much to you maybe you shouldn't be with the person you're with.

…why is it so hard for another person to believe that you can actually fall in love with them the first time you meet or at least feel love for them and if someone feels this way about another should they express it?

Yes it is possible for a person to feel this way about another because I’ve been there, done that. It’s not like you will be shattered if this person walks away tomorrow but the feeling of loss and what might have been will be there. That love thing is like a planted seed. The moment you meet and spend time with this person, you’re attracted to them, you like the way you feel when you’re with them, conversation comes easy, you can talk about anything, you’re comfortable so by the end of your time together you’re hanging on that persons every word. You can’t stop thinking about them once you part. So maybe you go out a couple more times that week and you have this overwhelming urge to say how you feel. You can tell this person likes you too but you also know their feelings may not be as strong as yours and that’s ok because you don’t need them to be. You just need them to be wanting to walk down this road with you and see where it goes. So you tell them how you feel. Now it’s up to you how much you are willing to reveal depending on how much you need to. You can say I love you, you can say I’m starting to care about you; you can say I like you a lot. Just put it out there and see what happens. Don’t wait for a reciprocal answer because you don’t need one and you’re not looking for one because this is about what you feel. Now if you get a response and he or she says I feel the same about you or something to that affect. You will know it was worth it to put it on the line like that.

On the other hand let’s say the person doesn’t say anything, it could be your first awkward moment or maybe you two just move on like you didn’t say anything. One of two things could be happening. He or she may feel that you've put them on the spot although that wasn’t the affect you were going for and don’t really know what to say or maybe they are not sure how they feel. This is what I find usually happens, he either doesn’t call again or if he does call it's to tell me he thinks we should see other people. I find that men feel that if you say you love them you want something from them. I do want something, to spend time with them to get to know them and see where it takes us. If you have kids they may think you want a daddy from them.

The meaning for me in all this is:
At this moment in time I love you! If you want to be loved and give this a chance it will grow. If you walk away tomorrow I will feel the loss of your essence but…I will survive. I ask nothing in return but if you leave the door open and explore with me you may or may not feel the same. If it works out fine, if not I wish you well.

Again this is how you feel now. As you get to know this person you may find out things that may change those feelings. It doesn’t make them any less real. I can’t speak for women because I don’t date them but men don’t be so quick to turn tail and run. Now the burning question, If this happens do I look back with regret and wish that I had not told him how I feel. NEVER! I like to express how I feel in words and with affection and I wouldn’t change how I am for anyone.