Controversial Matters!

I don't believe the nonsense about men were born to cheat because it's in their nature...because just as many women cheat. I actually believe that if you truly care for, notice I didn't say love although as far as I'm concerned that goes without saying...again if you truly care for your partner (married or not but I do mean in a relationship) because people that are playing the field as it was formerly known back in the day but currently comes under the heading of friends with benefits should have no expectations of exclusivity, you will not cheat on them because you respect them too much. Doesn't mean you won't see someone that you might like to be with because after all you're human but you won't act on it.

Now I believe that there are a small percentage of people that will always be faithful no matter what because it's in their nature. There's an even smaller percentage that will be tempted to cheat but won't give in to that temptation. The rest of the population will cheat and the majority of them will do it more than once. I feel that most of these people will just think of what will make them feel good with total disregard for the people they will hurt if they get found out. A large part of the time alcohol or drugs factor in the equation hence the expression get high, get stupid.

In summation: People cheat because they are either:

• weak (just can't fight the feeling)
  
• greedy (wants to have their cake and eat it too
  
• characterless (will basically sleep with anybody
  
• stupid (make bad choices (i.e., a married man who sacrifices his family for one night of sex with someone other than his wife)
  
• petty (I cheated because my partner cheated)
  
• immature (I cheated because I was feeling neglected)
  
• just don't care (don't care about the consequences)
  

Women, especially if you're married, treat your man like you're his outside woman and he will have no reason to stray. Partners should talk to each other if something is missing from your sex life after all sex is in the top 5 of the most important requirements for a relationship to work. Tell each other what you need to be happy in the bedroom. Above all else be honest with each other and if cheating means that much to you maybe you shouldn't be with the person you're with.

Sandra on expectations:
"People have their lists of what they want in their partner, and three-quarters of them are superficial. If life doesn't give you what you want, it'll present you with what you need and you don't realize it. That need is far greater and more profound than the little list thing."

For many many years I did not like Sandra bullock. All I really knew of her was her movies but I refused to watch any of them. I became a fan in 2000 when she made Miss Congeniality. I realized not only do I now like her acting (I think the type of roles she played had something to do with it) but I seemed to like her and have every since then. I like her tomboy ways because tomboyish or not she is still beautiful and still feminine. I like her attitude and I like her movies.

When I first found out she was getting married I was elated for her and then I found out to who because I was unaware of this character Jesse James, what he does or his reality show because biking is not my thing. In any case I was not impressed and wondered what the he** she saw in him. Granted, even though he cleans up well a lot of it for me was superficial but I finally decided regardless of what we think “john q public” if he makes her happy that is all that counts!

Even though this article is about Sandra let me just mention that I am a huge Apprentice fan and when I saw Jesse James on the show I was even less impressed with him because I saw him as somewhat arrogant and a know it all with too high an opinion of himself…but look at him now.

Sandra married Jesse James on July 16, 2005. Sandra took on a huge role (step mom) when she married Jesse but she rose to the occasion and for a long time I guess they were pretty happy, I know Sandra was. She was so proud of this man, her husband and took every chance to include him in whatever was going on even crediting him when she received her Oscar for “The Blind Side” and right after that he broke her heart. Sandra is the epitome of (u)the last one to know and it hurt so much she withdrew from society for a bit and she made a decision (same one I would have made) to get a divorce. At the beginning I labored under the impression that Jesse James had an indiscretion but it turns out this was an ongoing thing. This was too much even for me!!!

Do I feel bad for Jesse James, no, no more than I felt for President Clinton or Tiger Woods. You can’t claim to love someone so much and they be the love of your life and you can’t keep it in your pants. That’s not love but you wanting to have your cake and eat it too and you only become remorseful once you’re found out and you know the public thinks you’re a sh*thheel. I can only say that the fact that Jesse James had already been married twice should have been a clue for Sandra. If nothing else she should have at least tried to find out why the previous divorces. If infidelity was involved she should have run for the hills because Sandra had only planned to marry once (forever) and as far as I am concerned not only did he wreck something really beautiful and meaningful for Sandra but she can never recover that dream.

4/28/2010: Saying she's sad and scared, Sandra Bullock confirms she "filed legal papers seeking to end her marriage." She also revealed that in January she adopted a newborn baby, Louis Bardo Bullock, and that she will raise Louis on her own.

Ps: bottom line even with the “heil Hitler photo” (a Hitler stance doesn’t a racist make, neither does a derogatory remark about your race) I don’t think Jesse James is prejudice, a racist or is a monster. He’s just a very very very small man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I find it offensive when I hear supposedly intelligent people say stupid things. People that are gay are for the most part born that way. They do not wake up one day and decide to be gay. They may wake up one day and REALIZE they are gay or they make wake up and ACKNOWLEDGE that they are gay or they make up one day and decide to ANNOUNCE that they are gay, but the fact that they are gay has always been there.

Since this is no more a choice for them than to be born black, physically handicapped or for that matter mentally handicapped we should be more accepting as a society. I'm not so much concerned for adults because I feel they have lived long enough and matured enough to know how to deal with the world dishes out and can even fight back and this may be naivete on my part but I I am concerned for teenagers especially in smalltown rural communities where people tend to be rather homophobic, anti-gay and unforgiving, as if teenagers don't have it tough already growing up. Also, they may not get the support needed from the people that matter most, their families.

I see so many people on the television news these days that find themselves publicly accused of being gay because they slept with someone of the same sex. That does not make you gay. People sleep with someone of the same sex for many different reasons. If you were just curious and it's a one time thing I think you're about as heterosexual as they come. Lots of people experiment at least once in their lifetime. If it is something you've tried and you like it and know that you'll do it again but you're not making a partner type change at best you are BISEXUAL, meaning you like to swing both ways abd there is nothing wrong with that if that is your thing. People should just stop being so quick to label people when you really don't know what you're talking about.

...and on a final note gay men or even women can get married and have babies and still be gay. They may be in denial or they may just be making a choice.

…why is it so hard for another person to believe that you can actually fall in love with them the first time you meet or at least feel love for them and if someone feels this way about another should they express it?

Yes it is possible for a person to feel this way about another because I’ve been there, done that. It’s not like you will be shattered if this person walks away tomorrow but the feeling of loss and what might have been will be there. That love thing is like a planted seed. The moment you meet and spend time with this person, you’re attracted to them, you like the way you feel when you’re with them, conversation comes easy, you can talk about anything, you’re comfortable so by the end of your time together you’re hanging on that persons every word. You can’t stop thinking about them once you part. So maybe you go out a couple more times that week and you have this overwhelming urge to say how you feel. You can tell this person likes you too but you also know their feelings may not be as strong as yours and that’s ok because you don’t need them to be. You just need them to be wanting to walk down this road with you and see where it goes. So you tell them how you feel. Now it’s up to you how much you are willing to reveal depending on how much you need to. You can say I love you, you can say I’m starting to care about you; you can say I like you a lot. Just put it out there and see what happens. Don’t wait for a reciprocal answer because you don’t need one and you’re not looking for one because this is about what you feel. Now if you get a response and he or she says I feel the same about you or something to that affect. You will know it was worth it to put it on the line like that.

On the other hand let’s say the person doesn’t say anything, it could be your first awkward moment or maybe you two just move on like you didn’t say anything. One of two things could be happening. He or she may feel that you've put them on the spot although that wasn’t the affect you were going for and don’t really know what to say or maybe they are not sure how they feel. This is what I find usually happens, he either doesn’t call again or if he does call it's to tell me he thinks we should see other people. I find that men feel that if you say you love them you want something from them. I do want something, to spend time with them to get to know them and see where it takes us. If you have kids they may think you want a daddy from them.

The meaning for me in all this is:
At this moment in time I love you! If you want to be loved and give this a chance it will grow. If you walk away tomorrow I will feel the loss of your essence but…I will survive. I ask nothing in return but if you leave the door open and explore with me you may or may not feel the same. If it works out fine, if not I wish you well.

Again this is how you feel now. As you get to know this person you may find out things that may change those feelings. It doesn’t make them any less real. I can’t speak for women because I don’t date them but men don’t be so quick to turn tail and run. Now the burning question, If this happens do I look back with regret and wish that I had not told him how I feel. NEVER! I like to express how I feel in words and with affection and I wouldn’t change how I am for anyone.